top of page

Updated Nursery Rhymes

Inspired by the Burma Shave ads from the 1900's, these red and white signs containing Updated Nursery Rhymes have been placed along roads. The modernized rhymes refect contemporary society.

Little Bo Peep

Can’t get to sleep

She’s jacked up on caffeine and coke

Counting sheep doesn’t work

She’s going berserk

Is this what it means to be “Woke?”

Little Bo Peep   2022

Castro Street, Mountain View, Ca

Hickory Dickory Dock

My cell phone is my clock.

Don’t understand

An hour hand


Hickory Dickory Dock

Hickory Dickory Dock  2022

Grant Road, Los Altos, CA


Mary had about a gram

of high grade pure white snow.

And everywhere that Mary went

she always took her blow.

She shared some at her school one day

which was against the rules.

It made the children laugh and play

to take some drugs at school.

Three white mice

Three white mice

We watch them run

We watch them run

Injected with hormones

and antifreeze

They finish the maze

with incredible ease

The people who sponsor

this research are pleased

With three white mice.

Jack was nimble

Jack was fleet

Jack became a

Pro athlete.

There was an old woman

who lived on the street

with an old shopping cart

and nothing to eat.

She went to the mission

to get a hot meal.

But needed a miracle

to end her ordeal.

Simple Frank went to a bank

to get himself a loan.

Says Simple Frank to the bank

“I want to buy a home.”

Says the bank to Simple Frank

“Any assets in your name?”

Says Simple Frank back to the bank,

 “No, that’s why I came.”

There was an old woman

who lived in a tent.

She had so many children

she couldn’t pay rent.

She went to a food bank

and got them some bread,

Hugged them and kissed them

and put them to bed

Officer Lou,

come make an arrest.

My wallet's been stolen

I’m stabbed in the chest


Where is the cop

who should answer this call?

Laid off during cutbacks

at City Hall.

Bye Baby Roscoe

Daddy ran to Costco.

For diapers for your little bottom

Please don’t shit before he’s got ‘em

Little Miss Marcy

was stuck in her car seat

When a spider climbed

up on her head

She let out a shout

but she couldn’t get out

So she swatted the spider instead.

bottom of page